Chew, chew

As I've mentioned before, my son has a bit of an issue when it comes to biting and chewing things.  And people.  Actually I guess it's more accurate to say that I'm the one that has the issue with it, but whatever.  It's an issue.  I've tried to be as patient and understanding as possible, because I can't imagine how uncomfortable it must be to have teeth gnawing their way out of your gums like hungry piranhas.  But now that he's got all of his front teeth, he's can do some pretty significant damage. 

Don't be fooled by this innocent grin:

I've tried every kind of teething apparatus you can think of - smooth, rough, squishy, hard, vibrating, edible - all to no avail.  For some reason, my son would rather chew furniture.  Wood furniture in particular, but he'll have a go at our leather chairs every once in a while to keep things interesting.  I'm pulling big splinters of wood out of his mouth on a daily basis.  And I can't give him books any more because he can bite chunks out of them in a matter of seconds.

Consider the evidence:

The crib rail



A hardwood bench

One of many chewed books

The other day I could hear him tap-tap-tapping what sounded like a toy block on a piece of furniture; I looked over to see that he was banging his teeth against the edge - like a flippin' woodpecker!  This can't be normal...do other children do this?  I've only known puppies to inflict this kind of damage to furniture. 

I've tried to teach him not to do it.  I tell him "no", and move him away from whatever he's chomping on.  He patiently waits until I stop paying attention for a second and then crawls back.  If he sees me coming he'll crawl away and then looks back all casual like, "What?  I wasn't doing anything."  So he knows he shouldn't do it, or at least that I don't want him to.  So what, then?   


I'm at a loss here, people.  This child never ceases to throw me curve balls.