Saturday is my son's first birthday. Holy crap. I must have fallen into some kind of worm hole or something around February because I'm pretty sure I lost a couple of months somewhere. For reals.
I'm not sure who has changed more in the last year - him or me. Yeah sure, so he's grown, and learned to crawl around, and laugh, and stand up, and torment the cat, and climb on stuff, and clap, and wave, and all kinds of impressive things...but I became a MOM. Okay so he wins, but still.
When I think back to those first few days after he was born I wasn't sure we were going to make it this far. I was sooo tired, and all my girly parts hurt so much, and I was a blubbering emotional wreck, and all he did was eat and cry and poop and cry. I remember thinking (although I never would have admitted it then), What. Have. I. Done? Okay, you can take him back now. I changed my mind. I don't think I'm cut out for this mommy business. Hello? He he....joke's over guys....he he....very funny. Guys? Anybody?...
I can't really remember when or how, but it got better. And easier. And way funner (yeah that's right I said funner). And while I still occasionally wonder how I'm going to get through this, I wouldn't take it back. In fact I can hardly remember how I lived without him, or why I would want to. I didn't think it was possible to love someone so much.
One of the most special changes in my life since my son was born has been watching my husband become the best dad ever. I'll admit I had my doubts when I married him. He is, afterall, a giant child himself. Literally. Video games, Family Guy, junk food for meals, zero sense of responsibility...GIANT CHILD. But all those things are what make him a good daddy.
For example, when he was bathing the baby the other evening I went in to see what was taking so flippin' long, and there he is blowing great big soap bubbles just to get the baby giggling. I felt an instant of guilt because I'm all scrub-rinse-bing-bang-done when it comes to bathtime (mostly because I've used up all my creative baby entertaining tactics by that time of day). But together we're a pretty good team. And I can tell when Nate grins that heart-melting baby grin at us that he thinks so too.
So Happy Birthday my precious baby boy. And thank you for changing my life.