Saturday, October 22, 2011

Signing off

Well, all good things must come to an end.

I casually logged on the other day and realized I hadn't made an entry since July!  Not really surprised.  The older and busier the little guy gets, and the less time I have.  And let's face it - if I do have "spare" time, I want to spend it with him!  Or my husband (sorry about the 2nd place thing know I love ya).

Not to mention the fact that all my creative juices are being used up building mega-blocks cities and play-doh monsters, or trying to think of ways to sneak vegetables in at supper time.  Not very domestic-goddess-like you say?  Bah!  Tis what it is.  I wouldn't change it for the world.

I started this blog at a time in my life that was filled with change, new experiences, joy, fear, awe, discovery....transformation.  It served as a sounding board when I needed to vent, a place of clarity when I needed to collect my thoughts, and a memoriam - a place to store the day to day experiences that I'm sure my mommy-brain would otherwise forget.  These pages represent, for me, my journey from being a woman to a new mother.  Not that that journey is over, or ever ends.

In fact it's precisely my loving obsession with that journey that draws me away from this piece of my life.  A bitter-sweet ending...that's mostly sweet (so I guess that's semi-sweet?).  So to save myself the embarrassment of having my blog collect cyber-dust, I'm signing off and saying goodbye to JournalofanOrdinary.  For now.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

All kinds of cute

I know that people must get tired of hearing parents boast about how wonderful their own children are, but I'm going to anyway.  I have the cutest kid ever.  And he just gets cuter every day.

Now that he's talking a little more he's starting to string 2 or 3 words together.  This week he started saying, "Thank you mommy" when I hand him something (only it sounds like "tayne-too mommy").  How freakin' cute is that?  My heart just melts every time.  I randomly hand him things just to hear him say it.

Another favourite is one he just started saying on his own..."no way".  Not as a refusal but like, as an exclamation if you can imagine it.  Only he raises the pitch at the end so it sounds like a question - "No way?!".  I can't do it justice writing about it this way, but I can't get over how adorable it is.

The other thing he started to do recently is call us "honey" - I guess because my husband and I call each other honey sometimes.  He'll call me from the other room, "Unnie?  Unnie!?" (he hasn't quite figured out "h" yet) - I crack up every time. 

And he's learning to sing too.  He misses most of the words but just jabbers on with the music (and he does fairly well with the tune surprisingly) and he'll throw in the odd word at the end of a phrase if he knows it.  Like with Old McDonald he usually jumps in for the E-I-E-I-O right on time.  And with Ring Around the Rosie he knows just when "we all fall down!".  I'm pretty sure this doesn't impress anyone other than me and my husband, but like I said...he's just so darn cute.

Of course being a little sponge isn't always a good thing.  I'm now painfully aware of how often I say "shit".  Because every time I do he repeats it (and sometimes even when I don't...).  I really need to clean up my potty mouth.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Ready for round two?

Ever since my son was born, everyone keeps asking me "Are you going to have another one?".

Initially, when my son was still an infant, the thought of having another tiny, screaming, pooping, sleep-stealing little bundle to worry about (no matter how much love and joy came with it) just seemed overwhelming and....well, impossible.

As he got older, I could see where many parents come to the decision that they would like to have more.  I, however, have yet to come to that place.

When my husband and I started talking about having children, we imagined that ideally we would like to have 2 kids.  I have one brother, and my husband has two, so we were pretty sure that we wanted our little one to have siblings.  That was then.  Before I realized that not all babies are created equal.  Of course I always new that all babies are different, but now I really understand how different they can be. 

You see, I think my little guy has always been just a little more challenging then other babies.  A little more determined.  More active.  More mischevious.  More sensitive.  More everthing.  One only has to read through some of the stories I've told in my blog posts to get an idea of what I mean.  And not that I'm complaining - I wouldn't trade his vibrant personality for anything, even though I do often wonder what motherhood is like for mom's with babies who have an "easy" temperment.

The result of all his energy and demands, however, is a mommy who can't quite wrap her head around looking after two (or more!) of the same.  I know that may change as he gets older (he's 21 months now).  In fact, recently he's begun to be able to communicate his needs much more effectively verbally, and this alone has helped reduce the frustration level in our house.  And we've been putting his energy to good use having him help with chores (he loves doing laundry and picking up toys...mind you he likes throwing toys around and emptying the clean clothes out of his drawers more but I still like to think of it as progress).

A big part of me is just so happy and content with our little family just the way it is.  I don't want to change anything.  But then I see how he socializes with other kids and want for him to have a brother or sister to share the imagination and wonder of childhood with.  And then I have these random thoughts about getting pregnant again....

Something tells me one day I'll wake up and just desperately want to have another one, much the same way I wanted to get pregnant the first time.  But for now, my little man has my undivided attention when we're together.  And that's just exactly the way he likes it.   

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I'd rather be doing housework?

I have discovered that being back at work full time means that I don’t have any time left for anything anymore. So it goes without saying that I’ve been a terrible blogger and for that I apologize. Not that I know who exactly I’m apologizing to because I doubt that I have any readers left at this point.

So what’s been happening in the Ordinary life? A whole lotta working and chores it seems. I’m really finding that I feel like I don’t get to see enough of my little monkey anymore, and I’ve been having a hard time with that. I’m told it gets easier…but do I want it to? I don’t want to get used to missing him. Even when I am home with him I feel like I can’t give him my full attention because there’s laundry and dishes and chores…My solution? I’m hiring a cleaning lady. My husband tells me I’m being ridiculous, but he doesn’t do the housework now does he? Pick up a dust cloth or mop once in a while and then you can have an opinion. He knows when to shut up.

Hmm…what else? Since the little guy had surgery to get tubes in his ears, the whole constant ear infection thing was supposed to get better. Well now, that would have been too easy. He’s been leaking what can only be described as GOO from both of his ears ever since he had a cold 2 weeks ago; I’m grateful that he’s no longer in pain, but I was really hoping the ear infections would stop. He’s still needing antibiotics and eardrops.

I was really hoping he wouldn’t need antibiotics anymore because they’ve been killing his appetite – all he wants is bread and Cheerios (and Arrowroots!) – he won’t touch fruit or veggies or meat. And of course being allergic to dairy limits our options too. I tried so hard to avoid creating a fussy eater! Boo.
I guess one bonus since his ear surgery is that his language development seems to have really
blossomed. Maybe a coincidence, but it makes me wonder how well he was hearing before. It’s such an incredible thing to see him learning so quickly – it seems every day he learns a new word or two: Bum. Box. Bubble. Bye-bye. Boot. (This week has been brought to you by the letter “B”). It doesn’t stop being adorable.

Aside from me worrying about my little man, we’ve been busy trying to get our house finished so that we can move in next month. There’s been a lot of delays and hiccups along the way, but things are looking really good. We’re just finishing the flooring and paint, and then the kitchen and bathrooms can go in – very exciting. It will definitely make the headache of moving again worthwhile.

Okay so I better stop there because I’m fairly certain this isn’t considered “work-related”. (Don’t judge…like I said, I’m still having difficulty finding the balance). Till next time.

Thursday, March 17, 2011


Can I just say that I am SO F-ING DONE with flu season!!!?!!  BAHHHHH.

I have this anxiety issue when it comes to infectious stomach bugs.  I've always been totally paranoid about getting sick.  Well someone should have warned me that paranoid feeling would grow exponentially when I became a mom.

Last year the baby was still fairly small, and I was still on maternity leave, so it was easier.  When there was a lot of illness in the community I kept him home.  Safe and protected in our vomit-free home.  Well now that he's in daycare I'm faced with daily anxiety about what communicable disease he's going to come home with next.  It's not like I can hose him down in Lysol (although the thought has occurred to me).

I've come to terms with the fact that he's going to have lots of colds (in fact he's had 4 or 5 already just in the 6 weeks that he's been going to daycare).  But these stomach flu-type illnesses are a whole other story.  It just freaks me out.  I can't really explain it.  I just have this totally irrational anxiety about it.  (Yes, I'm a nurse.  Other people are allowed to be sick - just not me or my family.  Don't judge.)

He's only been sick with one of these bugs once - about 3 weeks ago it went around the daycare.  I was almost relieved when he finally did get sick because it was like I could stop worrying about it.  And luckily he had a really mild case so it wasn't the catastrophic puke-and-poop fest I had envisioned.

Well today I go to pick him up at daycare and hear about how a couple of the kids have been sick with vomiting and diarrhea, and this feeling of anxiety and dread washes over me.  NOT AGAIN!  I hate this.

I wish I could just keep him home and prevent him from being exposed to all this crap.  And I don't wanna hear about how "it's good for his immune system" or how "if he's sick a lot now he'll be healthier later" because it really doesn't make me feel any better.  I'm still a bundle of nerves waiting for the barf-bomb to hit.

I CAN'T WAIT for this part to be over.

Monday, March 7, 2011

One more reason why I love that man...

Today I'm going to stray from my usual material (namely mommyhood-type stuff) and delve into the world  Scary, I know, but I've had requests for building updates and I wouldn't want to disappoint my readers (all 5 of them).

So while I've been preoccupied ...distracted by ...completely self-absorbed with the process of returning to work and all it entails, my beloved husband has been on his own journey - building our home.  He's been working hard.  REALLY hard. 

He's been out there pounding nails in high winds, snow, rain, and frigid cold.  The weather has not been very cooperative.  Now that March is here I had hoped we would get a little break from this winter madness - I think we've had enough!  In fact, on my way home from work today the billboard at the local church (usually displaying a feel-good spiritual message about love or family or other warm and fuzzy things) reads as follows:
Whoever keeps praying for snow, please stop.
No shit.

Anyway, all his hard work is paying off because what was once a hole in the ground is quickly taking shape into the house we've dreamt of building for years.
Foundation poured
Floor joists going on - there's my hubby!
Walls up
So that's how the house building is coming along.  Stay tuned for periodic updates - I anticipate that there should be some good blogging material to come as my husband and I try to agree on things like flooring and paint colours.  Dangerous.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Boobie blues?

Well I guess I should begin by apologizing for the negativity of my last post.  But in my defense, I started this blog as a sounding board for the part of me that sometimes needs to rant.  Because if I don't, things get ugly.

So for all you folks out there who maybe don't want to read about hormones and female problems, I'll take this opportunity to suggest you skip this particular post.

Is there any one else out there that found their hormones forced them onto an emotional roller coaster when they were weaning??  I wasn't anticipating this.  It's kind of like the way I felt with postpartum blues, only I don't have the excuse of the blues to explain my complete lack of mental stability.  It's worse this week, because I'm about to get my period to boot.  Usually I just feel irritable though, not so....emotional. 

I can't stop crying.  About everything.  And I feel really anxious and worried about things, like in an irrational way.  And I'm grouchy.  I feel a little crazy.

Everyone tells me that I should give myself a break because I just started back to work and have a lot on my plate and all that, but I honestly don't think this has anything to do with being back at work.  In fact, I feel better when I'm at work because I'm busy.

Anyway, just wondering if this is something other people have experienced?  I'm still nursing a couple times a day, so we haven't completely weaned yet, and I'm worried this will get worse when we do.

On a completely unrelated note, I don't seem to have much time left for blogging with everything else that's going on these days, so I'm a little concerned about the future of this journal.  We shall see.