Ever since my son was born, everyone keeps asking me "Are you going to have another one?".
Initially, when my son was still an infant, the thought of having another tiny, screaming, pooping, sleep-stealing little bundle to worry about (no matter how much love and joy came with it) just seemed overwhelming and....well, impossible.
As he got older, I could see where many parents come to the decision that they would like to have more. I, however, have yet to come to that place.
When my husband and I started talking about having children, we imagined that ideally we would like to have 2 kids. I have one brother, and my husband has two, so we were pretty sure that we wanted our little one to have siblings. That was then. Before I realized that not all babies are created equal. Of course I always new that all babies are different, but now I really understand how different they can be.
You see, I think my little guy has always been just a little more challenging then other babies. A little more determined. More active. More mischevious. More sensitive. More everthing. One only has to read through some of the stories I've told in my blog posts to get an idea of what I mean. And not that I'm complaining - I wouldn't trade his vibrant personality for anything, even though I do often wonder what motherhood is like for mom's with babies who have an "easy" temperment.
The result of all his energy and demands, however, is a mommy who can't quite wrap her head around looking after two (or more!) of the same. I know that may change as he gets older (he's 21 months now). In fact, recently he's begun to be able to communicate his needs much more effectively verbally, and this alone has helped reduce the frustration level in our house. And we've been putting his energy to good use having him help with chores (he loves doing laundry and picking up toys...mind you he likes throwing toys around and emptying the clean clothes out of his drawers more but I still like to think of it as progress).
A big part of me is just so happy and content with our little family just the way it is. I don't want to change anything. But then I see how he socializes with other kids and want for him to have a brother or sister to share the imagination and wonder of childhood with. And then I have these random thoughts about getting pregnant again....
Something tells me one day I'll wake up and just desperately want to have another one, much the same way I wanted to get pregnant the first time. But for now, my little man has my undivided attention when we're together. And that's just exactly the way he likes it.