Sunday, February 20, 2011

Boobie blues?

Well I guess I should begin by apologizing for the negativity of my last post.  But in my defense, I started this blog as a sounding board for the part of me that sometimes needs to rant.  Because if I don't, things get ugly.

So for all you folks out there who maybe don't want to read about hormones and female problems, I'll take this opportunity to suggest you skip this particular post.

Is there any one else out there that found their hormones forced them onto an emotional roller coaster when they were weaning??  I wasn't anticipating this.  It's kind of like the way I felt with postpartum blues, only I don't have the excuse of the blues to explain my complete lack of mental stability.  It's worse this week, because I'm about to get my period to boot.  Usually I just feel irritable though, not so....emotional. 

I can't stop crying.  About everything.  And I feel really anxious and worried about things, like in an irrational way.  And I'm grouchy.  I feel a little crazy.

Everyone tells me that I should give myself a break because I just started back to work and have a lot on my plate and all that, but I honestly don't think this has anything to do with being back at work.  In fact, I feel better when I'm at work because I'm busy.

Anyway, just wondering if this is something other people have experienced?  I'm still nursing a couple times a day, so we haven't completely weaned yet, and I'm worried this will get worse when we do.

On a completely unrelated note, I don't seem to have much time left for blogging with everything else that's going on these days, so I'm a little concerned about the future of this journal.  We shall see.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Timing is everything

Tomorrow's the big day - officially back to work.  I've been busy getting ready:

Wean baby from breast...check.
Find daycare...check.
Get haircut...check.
Find things to wear other than pajamas...check.
Get the worst cold I've had in years...check.
Give it to the baby...check.

Oh yeah, and did I mention that we're in the middle of building the house?  To make matters worse the little guy is really NOT adjusting to daycare very well - we're having some pretty crazy separation anxiety issues (but that's another story). 

So the poor little monkey's been coughing and snotting and crying all over the place, as have I, and neither of us have slept more than a couple of hours at a time in days.  My sinuses, ears, and eyeballs feel like they're going to all simultaneously explode snot everywhere.  I can't take cold medicine because I'm trying to keep my milk supply up enough to breastfeed at least once or twice a day and apparently decongestants will dry up your milk.  And I have to get up and go to work in the morning for the first time in a year and a half.  JOY.

Because that's just how I like to do things, you know?  Go big or go home.  If I'm gonna be stressed out I might as well make it a good one and just pile all the shit up at once.

I wonder if this is a sign that I shouldn't be going back to work at all...

Goodnight.  I'm going to bed to lay awake and attempt to sleep breathe.

Thursday, February 3, 2011


I'm starting to get a little worried.  My son has only just started to take his first tentative steps (a late bloomer in that regard).  He has for some time, however, been working on various other stunts and acrobatics.  Mostly climbing.

For a couple of months now he has been able to climb up and down from the couch pretty gracefully.  Once he got bored with that however, he started trying to climb over the arms and back of it.  Then he moved on to the coffee table.  Then it was his "stand and learn" table:

 Instead of "standing and learning" he climbs up on top of it and perches there like a cat.  Now he steps up onto the electric baseboard heater to get up on the window ledge- and he just clings there like spider man. 
Today he started with the chin-ups on the kitchen counter.  He can't get his chin all the way up yet, but he can get both feet off of the floor and then tries to scale the cupboard.  How am I ever going to baby proof my house now?

My friend was telling me the other day about a little guy she knew of the used to balance on the arms of furniture and dangle from ceiling fans.  For reals?  I'm terrified.  I've had a hard enough time keeping up with him on all fours!