Changes

I've been offered the job I've been waiting for since I started working as a nurse - a Monday to Friday that will mean NO MORE SHIFT WORK!!  So it was a big decision, but I've decided to go back to work full time after all.  Considering the long-term, it was an opportunity I couldn't pass up.  But I'm still very sad and nervous to be leaving my little monkey...    

This also means that the time has finally come for me to face the challenge of weaning my son from breastfeeding.  It's been almost 16 months, and aside from the initial HELL of the first week or so (you breastfeeding moms out there know what I'm talking about), and a few ignorant remarks, I've enjoyed every day of it.  This part, however, I'm dreading.

You know how they tell you right from early on not to let your baby get in the habit of nursing to sleep?  Yeah well they obviously didn't have babies that woke up during the night.  When his eczema or ears are bad, my little guy can wake up as many as 7 or 8 times a night.  And let me tell you, when you're that sleep deprived you don't give a shit what the experts say, and you will do whatever it takes to get your child to sleep.  Consequently, he won't go sleep without it (or without me).  So clearly this change is not going to be easy.

So far though, he's been pretty readily accepting soy milk in a bottle (since he's allergic to dairy), and I'm hopeful that things will continue to go smoothly.  I will miss breastfeeding dearly, but I am REALLY looking forward to being able to eat dairy again, not to mention indulging in a few glasses of wine.  I'm also looking forward to wearing a normal bra again.  Because lets face it - this is not sexy:

Kicking and Screaming

You know that expression about being dragged kicking and screaming?  We'll I've probably used it in one way or another about 5000 times.  Yesterday I learned what it really meant. 

You see kicking and screaming, is an actual thing.  That kids do.  In public.

I'm pretty careful about not dragging my 16 month old on errands when he's tired or hungry or otherwise out of sorts, because frankly it's usually enough of a challenge when the deck's stacked in my favour.  And yesterday was no exception.  Despite being well rested and fed however, my son still decided that he was going to throw us a curve ball and make our little family trip to the Home Depot as difficult as possible.

We put him in the big orange cart when we arrived and at first things seemed to be going smoothly.  We headed to the kitchen section and started looking at counter tops and cabinets.  But then he wanted out.  Scream.  SCREAM.  SCREEEEEAAAAAM.  (Curious looks from other shoppers).  So now I'm carrying him.

We proceeded to discuss our cabinet options with the helpful-but-a-little-too-pushy store associate in the orange apron, while the baby twisted and turned in my arms, lurching his 25 pounds around trying to get his hands on anything and everything.  Now he wants down.  Scream.  Scream.  SCREAM. (Annoyed looks from other shoppers).  Normally I would never consider putting him down to crawl on a dirty store floor, but we were in a fairly clean looking little carpeted area (and my arms were burning with strain) so I caved and set him down to explore. 

Within 15 seconds he had found a drawer in the kitchen display that actually had stuff in it (who knew they actually stored things in their displays?), fetched a black permanent marker from inside, and had the cap off.  Naturally another screaming session ensued when I had to confiscate it. (More annoyed looks from other shoppers).  Meanwhile my husband and the dude in the orange apron just kept talking about cabinet doors.

After he had discovered that nearly ALL of the display cabinets had contents, there was no stopping him, so I had to pick him back up.  Why is it so friggin' hot in here?  SCREEEAAAAM.  I tried putting him in the cart again.  SCREEEAAAM.  So I take him back out, throwing my a husband a desperate look - help!  When he didn't catch on I interrupted their little cabinet conversation and plopped the little rascal into my husbands arms - here, you deal with him for a bit.

So I tried listen to what Orange Apron had to say about counter tops while watching my husband struggling to hang on to a wriggling, screeching toddler.  He too finally resorted to setting him down on the floor.  He found a display of counter top samples and proceeded to pull them out and pile them on the floor.  Initially I was going to let him, but when we started to get looks of disapproval from another guy in an orange apron I had to step in and pick him back up.

Scream.  SCREAM.  SCREEEEAAAAAMMM.   I stood there, now sweating, holding him in Superman position while he squealed and screeched and kicked his legs.  Orange Apron didn't seem to notice and proceeded to try and talk me into a solid surface counter top (that I had clearly told him we couldn't afford), but everyone else in the store seemed to be looking at us.  More disapproving looks from the other sales clerk.  Sympathetic looks from a lady walking by with her well-behaved 8 year old.  Terrified looks from a very pregnant young woman and her partner.  Annoyed looks from a cranky old man who probably forgot to take his Metamucil.  Dirty looks from a middle-aged woman who probably doesn't remember that her kids once misbehaved.   

I waited for Orange Apron to take a breath and interrupted him as politely as I could, explaining that we'd have to come back some other time (as if it wasn't totally obvious that now wasn't the best time...was this guy stunned?).  We headed toward the exit with a tantruming child in tow, fetching glares from onlookers the whole way.  A nice older lady greeting customers at the door offered her assistance (bless her heart) and took our cart back after watching us both struggle for a few minutes trying to get the baby's coat and hat on while he screamed and fought us every inch of the way.

Out the door we headed, having accomplished absolutely nothing.  I can't wait to go grocery shopping tomorrow.

Snow stinks

Well, I don't know what the weather is doing where you are but here in Central Ontario it JUST KEEPS SNOWING.  We used to be snowmobilers (aka 'sledheads'), but when I got pregnant "we" decided that our money would be better spent on more practical family things.  Subsequently, the wintertime has lost some most all of it's appeal. 

I had a fantastic idea and decided to get the little guy a sled for Christmas.  I thought we could get out for walks and enjoy the snow a bit.  It has a weather shield so I figured if I bundled him up he'd be plenty warm.  It looks like this:

The first time we put him in it he had a total meltdown and we didn't get out of the driveway.  We tried again today - it was beautiful and sunny and we were all in better moods.  This time we had a little more success and managed to make it a couple of blocks before the screaming started.  He was cold, I think, but he wouldn't let me zip up the weather shield because it freaked him out.  So we had to take turns carrying him home instead (and let me tell you, a 25 lb toddler with snow gear on gets heavy FAST). 

So I'm back to hating this snowy mess we're in.  The only thing keeping me from wishing the winter away is knowing that I have to go back to work in the spring.  Every time I think about it I feel sick.  Or like crying.  I have no doubt that I'll have a harder time with this than the baby will.